Sunday, April 24, 2016

Major throwback

Hai. Ini major throwback. Aku ulang MAJOR THROWBACK. Ok. Chill.

I used to have a boyfriend during my high school. Once. Nothing to proud of. There some people asked me how the move on process? How i deal with it? All about my healing process. Terjebak dengan relationship about almost a year. Sort of like that. Tak lama mana pon but some people cakap lama. Ahhh sukahati. 

Break up sebab apa? Haa entah. Tak ingat. Siapa dump siapa? Haa entah. Tak tahu.  

It took almost a month for me to move on. I was crying for the whole month at night. You can ask my pillow in case you didn't believe me. Kasar kasar kita at one point when it relates to heart nangis punya la. Tak tipu. I swear to god i never cry as much as this(masa breakup dulu). 

Fyi, aku bukan jenis senang benci orang. Even though dah breakup barang yang pernah dia bagi semua ada lagi. Elok je aku pakai. Tak buang tak apa. Text memang tak simpan sbb aku suka clear messages. Gambar pon kawan kawan aku yang delete. Nak kata tak sampai hati tu tak ada la tapi entah malas nak scroll gallery. Gambar yang aku cuci pon elok je kat album. See? Aku tak berdendam ok. Contoh bekas makwe yang sangat bertoleransi. Kakakaka.

Kawan kawan aku ada masa koyak rabak. Yang nampak mata sembap aku. Yang dengar cerita cerita aku. Yang nampak air mata aku. Yeah, you're da bomb. I was very struggle at that time to forget him. Yeah. Tak tipu. Sangat sangat struggle. Can you imagine you share almost everything with him, on the phone for hours, share stories and food then you become nobody to him. I told you yeah it hurts. Damn hurt. Physical and mental broke down gila masa ni. 

Almost every night aku pandang phone dia tak nak explain apa apa ke? Dia tak nak cakap ke "alaaa ini prank je"? Dia tak nak call aku ke? I felt like kinda hanging at that time. Blur nak mampos. Setiap malam aku masuk bilik. Tutup lampu. Baring atas tilam. Letak kepala atas bantal hadap dinding tak lama cukup 5 saat berjurai jurai air mata keluar. Hahaha. Bodoh betul rasa dia cry over a guy. I know myself well how i deal with this. You guys have no idea how much i cried. A lot. Too lot infact. But yeah when i totally move on i feel like yeah nothing to worry la. 

Here my confession. I never hate my ex. Serious talk. But, there was a time i said to myself "i'll find you and kill you." Hahaha. Hey, we still friends kot. We can talk to each other like friend. Aku memang tak ada nak benci benci orang ni. Tak ada masa. Aku okay je. 

My mom didn't spend her 9 months to carry me in her womb and me crying over a guy. Fck myself. Hahaha. I should kill myself instead. And now still here be the old nurhanis without attach with any guy not because i couldn't move on. It just because i'm too lazy to start all over again.


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